And, Then in Chapter 47 . . .

THE UNIMAGINABLE ACCOMPLISHING THE UNHEARD

Mama was telling this grand story about my Aunt J'Nelle being the Dean of Women at the most prestigious boarding school on the East Coast and how she was "removed" because she was caught buying beer one night while wearing a rain coat. Well, that was not quite the story. Yes, in the 1960s, my dear Aunt was the Dean of Women at a girl's boarding school in Virginia. And while, it was (and still is) very well thought of, I do not think the royal family sends their daughters there.

She was "seen" one evening by one of the professors purchasing beer off campus while dressed in a rain coat. The issue was more that of her attire than her purchase. And, her employment at the school was never threatened by that incident. Later, she left the school simply to get another degree (and most likely because being Dean of Women was a type of "employment" - something she shied away from most of her life, much to my grandparent's dismay.)

To say my mother had the flare for the dramatic was an understatement. Just as my father faithfully waited for the South to rise again, my mother pined for the old days of chivalry and calling cards, which is fairly ironic given how she prided her independence - quite the conundrum. It is amazing that I managed to make it into this century without all that baggage (my love for Victorian silver aside).

Whenever there was a lull in the conversation, my mother felt the need to fill it in with a story, that generally had just enough truths in it for my brother and I to vaguely identify the cast. However, once the tale started to unfold, we were as rapt as everyone else, because rarely did we recognize the plot line, even when we were the main characters. And, if we called her out on it, she got irritated, so we stopped commenting until the slight exaggeration became the ridiculous.

Over time, we had just rolled with the stories and only offered corrections when it was obvious that she had moved into another realm - that of the unimaginable about the unlikely accomplishing the unheard of. Then the madness needed to stop. For example, she started a story (about my wedding) directed at my daughters, "You know that your mother had more bridesmaids in her wedding than . . ."

(Once again, the rest of this chapter and many more can be found in the book when it is published.)